The Office Season One Episode Six

Office Jokes - Funny Work Jokes . Upon further investigation, police discovered 
his wife had gotten up for a late- night snack. An 
officer responded, and as he drove on the street, he ran over the squirrel. Source: uniformstories.

With satellite views, radar.

Have you ever been a victim 
of a JIB (job interview breakdown)? These men and women have.

Due to the strike in 1981, the season was split into two halves and playoff seedings were determined using the winners from each half. The first half began on April 9. On this day in History, President Harrison dies after one month in office on Apr 04, 1841. Learn more about what happened today on History. Box Office. With solid time-shifting lifts, Timeless has averaged an OK, not great, 2.2 Live+7 adults 18-49 rating, on par with the third installment in the Chicago franchise. Box office experts knew “Rogue One” would stay on top at the box office, but its dominating margin above the competition is something to behold on Christmas Day. It's all in a day's work to share these funny office jokes, puns, and laughs.

Travel Agent Central goal is to provide professionals in the Travel Agent Industry with expert information covering far more than just travel destination information. Browse the current lineup of NBC TV shows. Watch full episodes, video clips and exclusives, read cast bios and browse photos on NBC.com. 2016-2017 Influenza Season Week 21 ending May 27, 2017. All data are preliminary and may change as more reports are received. Virologic Surveillance.

Told to get himself something, he bought a shirt. Source: storify. com. My wife, a phlebotomist at the Denver VA hospital, entered a patient’s room to draw blood. Noticing an apple on his nightstand, she 
remarked, “An apple a day keeps 
the doctor away, right?”“That’s true,” he agreed.

When I asked what was wrong, he responded glumly, “Today, everything wrong is going in my favor.”Bacchus Johnson, Charlotte, North Carolina. My boss and I took a job applicant to lunch, where we tried, with little success, to get him to open up about his experience and qualifications. Frustrated, my boss set his salad aside and proposed a specific and complex situation to the young man, then asked, “What would you do?”The applicant hesitated, then, looking my boss straight in the eye, said, “Are you going to eat all those tomatoes?”John Richman, Webster, New York. A conference call is the best way for a dozen people to say “bye” 3. Damien. Fahey. His e- mail address is . His e- mail was . Every other permutation of my name was taken (e.

I’m stuck with . To that end, I had him 
use Play- Doh to make a sculpture 
of me.“Is that my neck?” I asked, trying to get him to repeat the word.“No, that’s your chin,” he said. He added more Play- Doh. The woman asked, 
“Is that 2. Central Standard Time?” Jamie Hindman, Lewisville, Texas.

It’s amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, “You look so gorgeous, I didn’t recognize you.”Elaine Schyve, Cohocton, New York. The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form. Businessman Stanley Randall. Client: Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence. Me: You mean . Delete it.

Source: clientsfromhell. I’ve been working on my Ph. D 
in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don’t necessarily see that as work. As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get 
a job there. Hoping to make a point, I asked, “Do you think they’re looking for an engineer?”“Oh, sure,” he said. One of our 
doctors had filled out a medically necessary leave- of- absence form 
for a patient, but, the agent said, the 
patient had altered it.

The giveaway? L., via e- mail. I supervised an employee who had a negative view of everything 
I did.

If I took a vacation day, I was “never there.” If I praised someone’s work, it was “too little, too late.”He eventually took another job 
but was fired six months later. Shortly thereafter, he contacted 
me, hoping to return to his old job.“Have you learned anything from this experience?” I asked.“Yes, I should have stayed here,” 
he admitted. I was eating at a fast- food restaurant when an employee began his shift by walking into the kitchen area and calling out, “Honey, I’m home!”G. M., via e- mail. Before google, there were librarians. Here are some queries posed to the poor, suffering staff of public libraries. It looks more like a mixture of red and blue.”Source: clientsfromhell. A woman called our airline 
customer- service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.“Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was flummoxed: 
“I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”From gcfl. I spend three minutes every 
day choosing a TV channel 
to leave on for my dog. Then 
I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.@damienfahey. After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports- radio talk- show host to say, “Everyone should call in and give one word for that game.”“What’s your word?” the host 
replied.“Bored out of my mind,” said the caller.

From Sports Illustrated. Librarians may be shy, but 
their patrons aren’t. Look at their oddball requests: A patron offered me $1.

A patron wanted me to find a 
book to teach her dog German. A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck.

A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn’t at work. Roz Warren, from womensvoicesforchange. Watch Starship Troopers: Invasion Online Fandango. For Martin Luther King Day, 
I asked my fifth graders how they’d make the world a better place. One said, “I’d make potato skins a main dish rather than an appetizer.”Jessica Castronovo, 
Manalapan, New Jersey. Scene: A radio newsroom. Caller: I just wanted to let you know you’re off the air. Host: Yes, we know.

The engineers are working on it. Caller: It would be nice if you put something on the air that says that. Source: Overheard in the RADIO Newsroom.

When my coworker answered his phone, the confused woman on the other end asked, “Who is this?”“This is Steve. With whom did you wish to speak?”After a pause: “Did you just say whom?”“Yes, I did.”The woman replied, “I have the wrong number,” and hung up. From gcfl. net. Gilding the lily is a job seeker’s birthright.

Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed . Officials wrote back, “jang v. IDa je due luq . However, this is a non- devolved 
matter,” in Klingon. Source: bbc. com. Here’s some advice: At a job 
interview, tell them you’re willing to give 1. Unless the job is a statistician. Comedian Adam Gropman.

I sent a reminder to a client that it was time to visit the eye doctor. I explained that was not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of 
the state.

One student paid me the ultimate compliment when she said, “You teach English good.” Another assured me, “I will always forget you.” And a third insisted, “I thank you from the heart of my bottom.”Ellen Israel, Alamo, California. New York Times writer Amy Chozick giving an example of what 
it was like working for a fashion magazine: “A girl got on . Writer Peter 
Anspach explains how he’d improve his odds if he were a film villain.

Good messengers are hard 
to come by. Also, I will not construct walkways above them. Jones for 
his acts of true kindness and 
selfishness.”“Dancers must have long limps.”“At first, I had a hard time 
understanding and interrupting 
his movement.”“Savion Glover’s purpose is to cross all racial and ethical barriers with his dance.”Kathy Dubois, Onalaska, Wisconsin. During college, I worked on 
a conveyor belt.

One day, I was 
on a blind date, and she asked me about my job.“I work at the end of a belt,” I said. With an ebullient smile, she asked, “Are you the buckle?”Skip Parker, Reno, Nevada.

Client: We need you to log in to the You. Tube and make all our company videos viral. From clientsfromhell. Has your son decided what 
he wants to be when he grows up?” 
I asked my friend.“He wants to be a garbageman,” 
he replied.“That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.”“Not really. He thinks that garbagemen work only on Tuesdays.”Source: guy- sports. Client: The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it was a little more orange.

Like “blorange.”Source: clientsfromhell. I phoned a local restaurant to 
ask if it was on the north or south side of Main Street. The person on the other end answered, “That 
depends on which direction you’re coming from.”Patricia Thompson, Shawnee, Kansas“Halt!” shouted our drill 
instructor. He had noticed that, for the umpteenth time, a recruit kept going to his right on a left command. Our instructor approached the 
directionally challenged Marine 
and stomped on his left foot. When I got home, I decided it was time for a little father- son bonding time.

I bought him a 
toy razor and invited him to “shave” with me. In the bathroom, I took 
up my razor and started shaving.